


only fools rush in, but i can't help falling in love with you

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Tearjerker, brief mentions of anxiety/suicide/self-harm/and depression, larry stylinson - Freeform, maybe idk depends on who you are, too many emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:20:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is not all right.</p><p>He's fucked up, a psycho, a mind fuck-or that's what people call him. Let's just put it this way, his second year sucks. College just sucks. And he was in need for a hero. But this isn't some fairytale. Life is not some movie where you lose your slipper and your prince returns it to you and you fall in love and all that other bullshit. It's a cruel, harsh world out there with monsters and demons who constantly rip and tear you apart.</p><p>And then he meets Harry. And he thinks maybe he can have a fairytale, but his very own fairytale.</p><p>"Everyone has a way to take their pain away. And like, I figured out that you're mine."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. but my god, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles

**Author's Note:**

> i threw this together sort of
> 
> i'm breaking it up into parts, probably like 2 or 3 because it's gonna be long, and yeah
> 
> but pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase read it
> 
> i'll make you all pizza:)
> 
> please read the tags, because there are mentions of suicide, depression, self harm and bullying, and i d  
> don't want anyone to be triggered.
> 
> PLEASE READ AND LEAVE KUDOS AND COMMENT AND I'LL LOVE YOU.

Louis is not all right.

He's fucked up, a psycho, a mind fuck-or that's what people call him. Let's just put it this way, his second year sucks. College just really sucks. And he was in need for a hero. But this isn't some fairytale. Life is not some movie where you lose your slipper and your prince returns it to you and you fall in love and all that other bullshit. It's a cruel, harsh world out there with monsters and demons who constantly rip and tear you apart.

Words such as faggot, or twink, or insane twat are constantly thrown at him. But you see, he's used to it, which is just a little sad.

Louis had gotten diagnosed with depression in the first grade when the big kids at school would kick him and tease him for his father leaving his family. He started to blame himself and talk about disappearing, and his mother was like thinking he's too young for these thoughts right, so she took him to the doctor and bam. He got depression. 

In the fourth grade he found one friend, Zayn Malik. He was a new kid, a little quiet, and the only one who didn't tease Louis. Louis liked Zayn. He was there for him in sixth grade when Louis' mum got a new boyfriend, who was an alcoholic bastard who abused Johannah when she wouldn't listen or when he came home drunk, and she still put up with it. It scared Louis. Zayn was also there for him in seventh grade when he started to make cuts on his skin because he needed something to take away all the pain, even though it caused more. It just helped. Zayn was there for him in eighth grade when Louis tried to kill himself because he felt like he shouldn't exist anymore because the kids at school called him worthless and pathetic, so he thought he was. In ninth grade he got a therapist and was put on what seemed like ten thousand different pills, and Zayn was there for him when Louis wanted to drown in them. The names were still coming at him, and soon enough Zayn got bullied to, but he stayed. Then in tenth grade, Louis found out he was gay because he had feelings for a guy named Stan whom he secretly dated in the eleventh grade, and he thought Zayn would get creeped out, but then he found out Zayn was gay himself. So he stayed. The in the eleventh grade, everything crashed down. Louis got kicked out of the house for being gay, so Zayn invited him in. Then Stan told him to stay away because he wasn't "a cock sucking faggot" like him, and never spoke a word to Louis again. Then Stan told everyone about Louis' sexuality and more slurs came in, but he was used to it. Twelfth grade was the same, and then unfortunately, most of the assholes to made him this way ended up at the same college as him.

It's quite funny how there are still 'bullies' in fucking college. Huh. 

He was used to the bullying, and he was more than used to being depressed. It didn't affect him anymore, really.

So now they're in their second year of college (finally), and Louis is a little more than lonely. Zayn got a boyfriend about three months ago, and honestly, he's very fit. He's in his second year as well and he's the total opposite of Zayn, but it's just right between them. And Zayn and Liam look at each other with this smile and bright eyes, and Louis hopes he can look at someone like that soon, too.

"You guys are so cute. So fucking jealous. Where can I get a boyfriend?" Louis sighs to the couple, who are feeding french fries to each other. He sighs for about the thousandth time that day.

Zayn smiles over at him. "I'm pretty sure I took the last good one, Lou. Sorry 'bout that."

Louis is about to speak when Liam cocks an eyebrow at Zayn. "Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?"

"Of course, babe." Zayn tells him with a peck.

Louis groans. He throws his head up and closes his eyes. "Dear Lord," he prays, "please bring me an angel."

"Hey you pricks!" an Irish voice says, and Louis looks down at the voice, and if he said God didn't hear his desperate prayers, he'd be lying.

Next to Niall, another friend of Louis', is Louis' angel. He's like, right there. He's perfect. Maybe a little too perfect. He's got bright green eyes that can kill a person, and pouty lips. Louis would like to kiss them, he thinks. His hair is brown and curly and pushed out of his face, so Louis can see his whole face. His cheekbones and jawline are incredibly defined. He's way taller than Niall, and he's got this red plaid shirt on that isn't buttoned up all the way and fuck, the boy has tattoos for Christ's sake. His black skinny jeans are clinging to him, and he has got nicer legs than any other girl or boy Louis has ever seen with these disgusting brown, worn out boots and Louis almost cries.

"Hey, Niall," Zayn says with a mouth full of food (it's quite disgusting), "who's your friend?"

And Louis thinks 'yes, Niall, please introduce us to your delicious looking friend.'

"This dork?" Niall grinned, thumb pointing at the boy, "this is Harry. He's in our homeroom class."

You see, Niall was a first, but firsts and seconds share a homeroom. And it's weird because Louis has never noticed Harry.

Louis scowls. "And why haven't I seen Harry before?"

Before Niall could speak up, Harry pipes in with a slow, deep voice. "I was moved from my old homeroom to yours recently. The teachers decided I should be around a new group of people, so I said yes and-"

"You talk a lot." Zayn says.

Harry frowns and Louis feel his heart break. "Zayn! Be nice to our new friend."

Zayn snorts and shakes his head at Louis because like, he knows Louis, and he knows what Louis' thinking and what he's up to. He looks back up at Harry and pats him on the back. "I'm just fucking with you, mate. Take a seat, yeah?"

And so Harry takes a seat right across from Louis, and their eyes meet. And okay, it really is like a fucking movie because Louis' heart kinda stops in his chest when Harry smiles, and he has these dimples that Louis find himself staring at. He feels Zayn smirking at him, then at Liam, then back at him. But he can't stop staring.

Louis quirks a smile, just to be polite and he can't help it. "So, Harry, where are you from?"

"I'm from Cheshire," he tells him with a grin and those fucking dimples appear again, "but I moved here to Doney when my mum left me and my sister took me in."

The boys' pretty damn blunt, too.

Louis avoided the situation because he thought he could get to know Harry more soon. "Does your sister come here?"

Harry took a bite of his sandwich, and Louis thought he was so cute (don't ask him), and shook his head. "Nah, she graduated a few years ago. You may know her, um, Gemma Styles?"

"Oh, yeah! My ex-boyfriend was good friends with her." Louis tells him, and he doesn't mind telling him he's gay because one, everyone already knows and two, he felt comfortable with him, which was a different feeling. Louis liked that feeling.

Harry snorted and adverted his eyes down. "So was mine." And then the whole table's quiet.

Louis felt bad for Harry. He really did. He seemed alone, and you know what, Louis would make sure he didn't feel that way anymore. Maybe they can save each other. And maybe they can create their own fairytale. Or maybe Louis' jumping to conclusions too fast.

The bell rings and Harry shoots up faster than a rocket. Louis raises his eyebrows at Niall. And Niall tells him he gets anxious in some situations, and then Louis understands, so he goes after him.

"Harry!" Louis calls, and feels relieved when Harry looks back. He jogs up to Harry's side, and he's never felt so short in his life. Harry's a giant compared to Louis, and his head is just past Harry's shoulder.

"Hi." Harry say's shortly, and his hands are shaking a little and he's looking all over the place. 

And since Louis isn't afraid of the boy or trying new things, he goes for it. "What class do you have next?"

"Study hall but that's not really a class. Just. I don't really study." he smiles at himself, and Louis can tell he's getting really anxious. He really wants to hug him.

Louis grins up at him. "So do I. I want you to sit with me. If that's okay. I wanna get to know you, yeah?"

Harry looks at him with wide eyes. "Me? You wanna get to know me?"

"Yeah, you. You're silly. You seem interesting." Louis tells him.

"I mean-" Harry starts, but then he's on the floor.

"Watch where you're stepping, weirdo-oh my god. What's this?" A deep voice says, and Louis looks up to see Aiden Grimshaw smirking down at him. "The loser is hanging out with the faggot. How cute."

"Fuck off, Aiden. You're such a fucking loser." Louis spats, and he has no clue where the new-found confidence is coming from, but he's enjoying it.

Before Aiden can speak another word, Louis' grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him away, because he doesn't have time for him and he just wants to fucking talk to Harry all day. Maybe they can skip their other classes.

"He's going to kick your ass, you know that, right?" Harry whispers to him.

Louis laughs out loud. "I'm used to it, kid."

"Why is that?" Harry asks without hesitation.

"I'll tell you someday. Not yet. I want to know you, first."

"You sure about that?" 

Louis grins. "I'm positive."

Harry grips Louis' forearm and Louis hopes he isn't making it obvious that he's flexing. "I don't know how you do it."

"Neither do I, honestly. It's new."

"It's new?"

"Yeah, usually I just walk away. But. He can't hurt both of us at the same time, alright? Not letting that happened." Louis says, and his heart is racing.

"Oh. Okay. I'm not usually this um-fidgety, by the way." Harry tells him as they walk into the library of their school.

"So then why are you?" Louis asks him, but then he feels like he's getting too personal. "You don't have to-"

"I'm just like. I'm nervous around new people." Harry tells him, and Louis knows he's lying (maybe), so he changes the subject.

They sit down and Louis looks at him carefully. "Tell me about yourself."

Harry gulps. "I don't know what to say about-"

"Just talk, Harry. Random shit. Go on."

And so Harry talks and talks and talks. At first he's nervous, telling Louis that his favorite colors red and he really likes sappy romance movies, and it's silly things that he's nervous about. And he tells Louis that he was born backwards and he laughs then, and Louis really likes his laugh. And Harry tells Louis that he really likes watching the sun rise and set, and then Louis tells him he's a sap and a hopeless romantic but Harry grins and keeps talking about how he does like to cook and how he hates High School more than he hates life. He tells him how he really likes indie music and how he much rather live off of music than air, and Louis calls him a hipster and then Harry laughs really loud.

And Louis thinks he much rather live off of Harry's laugh than air and music. 

* * *

 

 "He's just so like, pretty, you know? And he just told me random things and he's just so interesting to talk to and look at and listen to. Like. Ugh. And I don't want to rush into anything because he's young, and he just seems so like, nervous, and I don't want him to be like that. But like, I already wanna talk to him more and hang out with him more and it's stupid. It really is. Help me, Zayn."

Zayn chuckles at him. "Only thing I can tell you Lou is to just wait or something. Like get to know him-"

"Obviously, Zayn."

"-and then ask him on a date or something and see where it goes from there. You know I'm not good with this type of advice, mate. Sorry."

Louis groans and looks over to Liam. "What about you, Liam? You're smart. What should I do?"

"I'm not really good at all this relationship stuff, ask Zayn." he tells him.

"He really isn't. He's good at being a great boyfriend, yes, but he didn't know what to do with me either, so then-"

"Zayn! I don't need to hear it. I just need help." Louis whines.

"Well then we'll invite them over tonight." Zayn suggests.

Louis grins. "Really? Him and Niall?"

"Yeah, why not? It'd be a good way to start off break, yeah?" Zayn says, unlocking their front door. And what a coincidence, they just started their spring break. "I'll get a few pints, some greens-"

"Zayn, I do not want to pull a move on Harry when he's drunk or high." Louis sighs. 

"Who said you guys will get drunk? You don't have to. It'd take a few beers for that, anyway." Zayn explains.

"And anyway, Lou. You don't want to pull a move the first time you guys are together out of school. Especially because you just met. Just. Charm him, yeah?" Liam says, and Louis thinks it's funny how he says he's not good at relationship advice. Ha.

They walk inside and Louis flops on the couch. Maybe he can really get to know Harry tonight. Like, maybe they could tell each other about their past even though they just met because Louis wants a HarryandLouis or a LouisandHarry. He's moving fast, yes, but for once, he isn't afraid of falling too fast or too hard for Harry.

"He's so cute.." Louis says out loud in a dreamy voice. And then Zayn's groaning.

"Here we go again."

Louis sits up and scowls. "Here we go again with what?"

"You talking about the boy, whom may I add you just met-"

"Does it matter though? I won't ask him out for a few weeks if things work anyway." Louis cuts in. And okay, Zayn's being a twat about this.

"Let me finish," he says, "you can't expect things to work out just like that Lou. How do you know he isn't like Stan?"

Then Louis' mad. "He's not, Zayn. I know it. Just because-"

"How do you know it, Louis?"

"Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can't, Zayn. You're so selfish. Can't you at least pretend to be happy for me?"

"I am, Lou!" Zayn tells him, "of course I am. I'm just looking out for you."

"Yeah, well, I think I can do this myself."

Zayn snorts. "That's the first time I heard that come out of you."

Liam shoots a hand to Zayn's knee and tells him that he crossed the line, and he did. The look on his face tells Louis that he didn't mean for it to come out of his mouth, but it did. Louis stands up and starts walking upstairs before Zayn's calling out his name and he ignores him.

Louis slams the door to his bedroom before flopping down on his bed and he just lays there. The thing is, Zayn doesn't understand. And Louis doesn't expect him to because Zayn doesn't have want Louis has but he knows hurts Louis. And he knows he crossed the line but it just hurts, you know? It hurts to see even your best friend think you're fucked up.

And Louis wants to stop thinking about it. So next thing he knows he's calling Niall.

The phone picks up after two rings, and a deep voice answers and oh god, oh god oh god oh god. 

"Hello?" the voice says again and Louis wants to scream.

Louis clears his throat and finally speaks. "Uh, hi. It's Louis."

He's an idiot. 

Harry mumbles something under his breath and sighs into the phone. "Oh, hi. It's Harry."

Harry's an idiot too.

Louis laughs and it feels nice, feels like a relief. "Yeah, I had a feeling. What are you up to?"

"Nothing. Like, at all," Harry says, and he sounds calmer than he did earlier, "Niall's in the shower, if you were wondering or calling for him or like. Yeah."

Louis takes that thought back. The boy sounds like he's shaking.

"Right. You okay, then?" Louis asks him.

"Yeah. I'm just like. I'm not used to this."

Louis gets interested and sits up. "Used to what?"

He hears Harry mumble again and he can't help but smile. "Nothing. Oh god. I'm sorry. That sounded rude. I'm-"

Louis cuts to the chase. "Do you guys wanna stop over tonight?"

Harry gulps. "Who?"

This time Louis laughs out loud. "You and Niall, silly. Who else?"

"I don't know. It's just," Harry says, and Louis thinks he says that a lot, "people besides Niall don't usually invite me over to their house. But. Yeah. We'll come. I mean I think Niall was planning on going to a party and he wanted to take me but I'm not a party person."

"No?"

"No. But I'll ask. If that's okay." Harry tells him, and he sounds a little calmer this time.

"Yeah, that's fine." Louis thinks over ways to stay on the phone a tiny bit longer. "You know, if he's going to that party you can always come by. Like, just you. Or maybe Niall can take Liam and Zayn and you and I could just hang out or something." Fuck, he probably sounds like he wants Harry to come over for a quick fuck.

"Um."

"No, no. I didn't mean it like that, Harry. I wouldn't do that to you. Like I said, I wanna get to know you." Louis says nervously. He's a huge idiot.

Harry's quiet and Louis' about to say something until, "okay."

Louis grins. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Harry says, and Louis can tell he's smiling.

"Okay. Great. What time do you wanna stop by?"

"I can stop by in a little while, if you want. I can make dinner." He sounds like a housewife. "Like, for the five of us. And then. I don't know."

"No, that sounds nice. We can stay in and just talk or watch a movie or something, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll tell Niall."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Louis smiles. "Okay."

He hears Harry let out a breathy chuckle. "Okay. I'll see you then."

"Wait, what's your number? Just in case, you know." Louis asks.

"I know." And Harry tells him and then they hang up.

Louis smiles. He wants to scream because it just feels in the moment, but he most definitely will not.

Maybe he'll smile instead. A lot.

And so he does.

He runs downstairs with a grin and ignores the fact that Zayn said something wrong. "You guys are going out tonight."

"Lou, I know you want me out, but I'm so so sorry-"

"Yeah, apology accept. Okay. You're still going out tonight. The two of you. With Niall."

"Oh God..." Liam groans.

"You're going to a party. You don't have to enjoy yourself. Just-"

"What?"

"Or you can enjoy yourself," Louis sighs, "just go. Please? Have fun, go wild. I didn't want to drink tonight anyway, you guys can do a whole lot of that at the party after Harrycomesoverandmakesusdinnerandthenstaysherewithme."

Liam and Zayn share confused looks.

Zayn cocks and eyebrow and smirks. "What did you say, Louis?"

Louis beams. "Harry's going to come over and make us dinner, and then you three will go to the party, and Harry and I will stay here and do cute things and I'll charm him and then we'll get married."

"Nice plan, Lou." Liam snorts.

"Yeah, plan on shagging him?" Zayn smirks.

"Nope." Louis tells them, popping the 'p'. And their jaws drop because Louis is a horny little shit ninety-nine percent of the time, and the fact that he won't shag Harry is unbelieveable to them.

"You listened to my advice. How good am I, babe?" Liam smiles.

"Yeah, you're great. But Lou, are you even going to kiss him? Or just. Sit there." Zayn asks.

"Maybe. I don't know. I like him, okay? And I don't want to rush anything. Sitting there is fine for me. I just. I wanna be able to see him and know him and talk to him. That's okay for me."

Zayn smiles at him. "I'm proud of you, you know that? I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know." Louis says back.

"Good. Now go get ready for your date, pretty boy."

"It isn't a date!" Louis yells as he walks up the steps.

It was a great feeling, really, having someone be proud of you, and maybe even having a little faith in yourself.

After Louis washed up (he made sure he was extra clean), he decided to send Harry a text, but stopped when he realized Harry had texted him.

hi, it's harry. we'll be over soon, if that's okay.

  
Louis rolled his eyes and smiled.

**Harry, of course it's okay. don't be silly.**

i'm sorry

**UGH. don't be sorry either!! and don't say sorry again.**

...sorry :p

**I might have to kill you.**

aw, but then i won't be able to spend time with you. 

  
Louis wonders where Harry's flirty confidence comes from suddenly.

**Then I take that back. I'd rather spend time doing absolutely nothing with you than not see you at all.**

**  
**Louis also wonders where he's coming from.

But then again he's always been good at flirting.

It takes a few minutes for Harry to text back, but when he does, Louis grins. Hard.

good, because i got no idea what i'll talk about with you. don't want you to think i'm weird, or anything.

**Don't think I could, love. We're all a little weird anyway, not good to be normal. That's weird.**  

you sure about that? i don't wanna chase you away 

**You're too cute and interesting for me to be chased away.**  

**  
**Louis smiles to himself, because he feels so good. He likes this thing. This wonderful, wonderful thing him and Harry have, and the best part is, he doesn't even know if it's a thing.

lies 

**Truths. Now get your arse over here. I wanna see you:(((((**

almost there:) 

**Good.**  

good

**You always gonna repeat what I say?**  

**  
**But then Harry doesn't answer, and Louis almost falls down the steps at the pace he's running at. He fixes his hair before opening the door and. Wow.

Harry is an angel.

He stands there with his hair pushed back in a beanie and a sweater that's too big on him a little, and Louis kind of wants to wear it (he doesn't care if that's weird) and the same black skinny jeans as earlier and this ridiculously ugly brown boots that are worn out, but they fit him.

He's a fucking angel.

"Hi." Louis says, a little breathless.

"Hey." Harry smiles. "I didn't repeat what you said this time."

Louis laughs. "Didn't think you'd answer me."

Harry's about to speak when Niall groans. "Are you two just going to stay there and make eye love or can I come the fuck in?"

"Come in, Niall. Ignore the lovebirds." Zayn laughs.

"You look really, really nice, Harry." Louis tells him honestly.

Niall pats him on the shoulder and whispers to him. "Glad you said that, mate. He was about to wear a tux."

He walks away and leaves Louis with a red faced Harry. "Ugh, don't listen to him. I was just-"

"Harry, you'd look nice either way. Like I said, too cute. Now come in, yeah?" Louis invites him in and Harry trails behind and says a cheerful hi to the Zayn and Liam.

Niall smiles because he knows from Harry's past that it's hard for him to be cheery.

Louis takes Harry into the kitchen and smiles up at him. "What do you got for us tonight, Harold?"

"Whatever you got." Harry responds, and see, Harry has the habbit of staring at people's lips when they talk, but Louis' not talking. So.

Louis kicks Harry's ankle gently. "Thought you'd be bringing the ingredients."

Harry goes pale. "I didn't think I'd-"

"Harry, I'm kidding. Don't worry about it, okay?"

It worries Louis a little about that Harry gets anxious really easily.

"Yeah. I-okay." Harry says with shaky hands.

Louis rubs his back and smiles at him. "Why don't you get dinner ready, yeah? This way they can get out quicker and we can spend more time with each other."

Harry blushes and smiles so wide that his dimples show, and he's staring at Louis' lips again but he doesn't mean to. "Yeah. I'd like that."

* * *

 So Harry makes pasta for dinner and it's the best pasta Louis has ever tasted.

"Christ, Harry. How the hell can pasta be this good?" Zayn asks him.

Okay, it was just really fucking good.

Harry chuckles and blushes again. "I've been cooking for a while."

"Fuckin' pays off..." Niall mumbles, and Harry laughs again.

Louis thinks that it's time for them to get the hell out.

Then Niall responds to his prayers.

"Alright, boys, let's get going. I want to get wasted, get laid, and go fucking mental. Come on, then. Budge up." he commans and they all start to laugh.

Niall's always been like that. Always been about 'going fucking mental', but he makes it seem so legal and he just doesn't care, and they all admire him for that.

"Alright, alright," Liam says, and walks over to Louis, "good luck, okay? I know he'll like you. Just be Lou, yeah?"

Louis nods. "Yeah. Thanks, Li. Good luck."

Liam scoffs. "Thanks, mate, pretty sure I'll need it." And then he's walking to the door.

Zayn stops in front of Louis and Harry and smiles. And then he's walking to the door to and Louis' just as confused as Harry.

And then Niall comes up and ruffles Louis' hair and says, "make sure he can walk tomorrow."

"Niall!" Harry exclaims in embarassment, and then Louis groans and pushes him out the door.

And then they're alone.

Louis spins around to Harry and smiles, again. "Hi."

"You want me to um, clean up?" Harry asks shyly, and he's sososososo nervous.

"No, I'll do it." Louis tells him as he walks to the kitchen.

"No, I'm helping."

"No."

"Yes."

"No, Harry."

"Yes, Louis."

"No."

Harry pouts. "Please."

Lord almighty, he needs to stop before Louis attacks his lips with his own.

"Fine." Louis whines. "Making me feel bad."

Harry grabs Louis' wrists and pouts some more. "Don't say that. I don't want to make you feel like that."

Fuck.

"God you're adorable..." Louis mumbles, but Harry still hears it and he grins, "fine. But one the other guys will put them away, got it?"

"Got it."

And then they're at the sink and Louis looks at Harry and it's quite funny how Harry smiles to himself when he's doing the damn diches.

"You enjoy this, then?" Louis asks him.

"I do. Don't know why." Harry confesses.

Louis scoots closer to him so their hips are touching lightly, and Louis feels a shiver go up his spine. "Anything else make you smile like that?"

"There's a specific way I smile?"

"Yeah, there's your cute grin with your dimples, and then there's a smile you have when you look like you're happy. Like genuienly happy. You just glow. So what else does it?"

Harry thinks it's funny how Louis knows him so well already, but doesn't. And Harry wants to say something to him but-

"You do."

There it is.

Louis stares at him with his lower lip being bit by his teeth, and Harry goes red.

"I didn't-wow. Okay. I didn't mean for that to come out. I probably ruined everything. Okay. Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't-"

Harry regrets volunteering to wash.

"Why is that?" Louis asks him, and Harry's fucked.

He clears his throat and focuses on cleaning the dishes. 

"Harry."

"Yes?" he asks slowly.

Louis shakes his head. "It was really sweet. Really. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad I can make you smile."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Harry grins, and he begins to smile wider.

"Good."

"Good."

"Copying again, Harry." Louis smirks.

Harry splashes him lightly. "You started it."

Louis splahes him back. 

And then it turns into a war.

Harry is tucked under Louis' arm and Louis' spraying water onto his hair, and he laughs because Hary looks like Tarzan with his hair like that.

Harry laughs against Louis' chest, and it makes Louis feel warm and humble, so he stops spraying Harry, lets him go, and reaches up to ruffle his now wet hair.

Harry pouts at him. "Now I look horrible."

Louis shakes his head. "You look adorable, Haz."

Harry smiles with a blush and looks down. "What the hell is a Haz?"

"My nickname for you, Haz." Louis tells him with a smile. "How about a movie now, yeah? I'll put on some tea, and you can pick a movie on Netflix, okay?"

"Okay." Harry grins again, trying to start.

"Not again. Go on, Hazza."

Louis smiles dreamily at Harry as he walks away, and since the TV is already on, Harry doesn't have much trouble finding the channel.

Louis makes the tea and walks back with two cups and flops down next to Harry on the floor. "What do you got on?"

"Well, I have a thing for sappy movies," Harry says sheepisly, "so I decided to put on Forest Gump. Hope you don't mind."

Louis shakes his head. "Not at all, love. One of my favorites, actually."

"Yeah? Good. I didn't want you to be like. I don't know." Harry says with a shaky voice.

Louis doesn't think, and goes to grab Harry's hand. "You worry too much, babe. Now put on the movie and let me snuggle with you."

Harry nods, too lost for words, and puts on the movie. His hand is a little sweaty, but it's cute, if Louis' honest. His long fingers keep a tight grip on Louis' hands, and almost incredible how different their hands are, but feel so right together at the same time, and Louis doesn't think he's ever felt anything like it. Louis takes the risk and leans his head on Harry's shoulder, and he can feel Harry smile against him when he leans his face on Louis' head. He reaches up and drapes a blanket over them, and Louis thinks he could fall asleep like this forever.

_My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."_

That line always gets to Louis, because it's fucking true. And it hurts a little.

And it clearly gets to Harry too, because he Harry's sniff, and he looks up to see a teary eyed boy.

He springs up and turns Harry's face towards his. "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry wipes at his eyes and laughs. "Nothing, I'm just emotional."

"Harry Styles, I can see right through you," Louis tells him, "now tell me what's wrong."

Harry bites his lip and lets out a long sigh. "It's ridiculous, really. I didn't expect to be like this, yeah? But, my mum and I used to watch this movie all the time, right?" Louis nods. "Well she would always say that to me, too. She'd always tell me to be careful out there because there's bad people and stuff, and I was young and I didn't know what the hell she was on about. And then I turned eleven, and I understood. One day, I came home from school with a bloody nose and a black eye because they thought I was weird, like the kids at school. They talked about how I threw tantrums and stuff, even though I didn't. And this one boy beat me up for it, and I couldn't do anything about it, Lou. I was so scared." Harry starts to cry a little more, and he hates himself for it. "And my mom said to me 'Harry, don't let them throw you around like a ragdoll, okay?' and I tried every day from when I was eleven to fourteen to get away from it, but it was so dificult. So in ninth grade, a boy who was in middle school with me, kept it going, and it got worse. I was like, a joke. And then I was openly gay in tenth grade, and I started dating this boy, and like. I don't know why I stayed with him. He fucked me-took my virginity-then would hit me when I wouldn't have sex with him or when he didn't like how I acted. So one day in eleventh I told him I had enough and he told me he didn't care because I wasn't good enough anyway, so he left. A few weeks later I found my sister lying in her room with bruises all over her body because she was crying really loud, and I was just getting home from the store.

"And I asked her what was wrong, and she started crying even harder and I didn't know what to do. I have a panic attack and called my mum and she got home so fast, and she looked weird, like different, but I didn't ask. Anyway, I calmed down and we found out that Nick raped my sister." And now he's full on crying. "I fucking hated myself, Louis. Like, how could I let that happen? After that, I started skipping school and my mum found out and I told her why, so she took me to the doctor and we found out I have a generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. So then my mum ignored me, right? And by then my sister moved to Doney, and I woke up this one morning, and I was alone." He sobs into his hands and scrubs his face before looking up at Louis with red eyes. "I didn't know what to do, so I called Gems and I've lived with her since twelth grade and transferred in college, but it never stopped. And then I realized, that I was still alone. And I still am. I fucking have nobody, Lou."

Louis immediatelty pulls in Harry for a tight hug and rubs his back. "Shh, love, it's okay. It's okay."

Harry sobs onto his shoulder. "No it's not, Lou. I have no one, at all."

Louis peppers kisses onto Harry's shoulder. "No, no, love. Don't say that. You got Niall."

"No," Harry shakes his head, "he's only there for sympathy."

"I doubt that.." Louis mumbles, "but Harry, you got me. You don't need anyone else but me, okay?"

"You'll leave eventually. Everyone does." Harry bits his lip and then lets out a choked sob. "I'm so fucking pathetic."

"No, babe. It's okay to cry. Especially to me. That's why I'm here, yeah? To do new things with you and all that, and I want you to cry on my shoulder when you feel upset. You don't need anybody else. I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere, love." Louis whispers to him.

Harry pulls back, and Louis also wants to cry because Harry's face is splochy and red, and his eyes are big and wet, but he somehow still looks breathtaking. "Are you sure? I'm pretty fucked up."

Louis kisses his forehead. "I've never been so sure in my life, babe."

Harry blushes and nods. "Thank you. You're too good to me."

"You deserve it, love. Now let's finish the movie, yeah? You'll be okay." Louis says before pulling Harry into his arms and their eyes land back on the movie.

_"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."_

* * *

They end up falling alseep wrapped around each other, and when Louis wakes up, it's one in the morning, and the other's still aren't back. Louis noses at Harry's hair. "Wake up, Haz." Harry groans and presses closer into Louis and Louis laughs. "Come on, love, we gotta get you home, it's late."

Harry looks up at him, and he looks absolutely adorable when he's sleepy, with light eyes and a sleepy voice. "Don't want to leave you."

Louis smiles. "I'll walk you, okay?"

Harry makes a whining sound and stands up. "Okay."

Louis stands up and turns off the TV and lights before they walk out the door. "What street do you live on then?"

"Wolfert, it's like-"

"Two blocks away, yeah. I go to the park there a lot with the guys."

"Oh." Harry says, and he looks like he's about to pass out.

Louis grabs his hand again, just because he likes the feel of it. Harry squeezes his hand and smiles at him. "I like it when you hold my hand."

Louis rubs his thumb over Harry's hand. "You're adorable."

Harry thanks him and then the rest of the walk is silence, but again, it's comfortable.

They get to Harry's house and Louis turns Harry towards him and grabs his other hand, before swinging them back and forth. "I had a good time with you, Harry. I can say I'm a fan of you."

Harry grins. "Good. I'm glad we did this."

"So am I. So I'll see you around-"

"You wanna spend the night?" Harry spits out, and he facepalms himself after. "That sounded better in my head. I mean, it's late and I don't want you to get hurt." He says, and he ignores Louis' smirk. "I can give you a pair of my clothes. Only if you want to."

Louis pulls him closer and smiles up at him again. "I'd love that."

"Good. Okay. Good. Let me just-get my damn key out." he says, and laughs off how nervous he is.

Louis watches in amusement as Harry's hands shake when he tries to open the door, and when it flies open, Harry takes Louis' forearm and brings him inside. "Gems is probably asleep or with her boyfriend, so."

"Yeah, I wanna get to bed anyway." Louis tells him, and Louis can't see the house because it's so dark, but Harry helps him up the stairs.

They get into Harry's bedroom, and moon shines through the window, and it's such a simple bedroom. Louis thinks he'd like to spend more time in it. He walks over to the bed and sits down while he waits for Harry to give him something to wear. "It'll probably be big, but..I don't want you to sleep in that."

Louis chuckles. "Big is fine. You think I could wear a sweatshirt, or something? I get cold at night." And it isn't entirely a lie. But. He wants to see how it feels.

"Yeah, sure." Harry picks out a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants and hands them to Louis. "You can get dressed in the bathroom, or I can turn around or-"

"Nah, that's fine. I'm not uncomfortable with you, so." Louis tells him, and he starts to strip. He feels Harry's eyes on him and he smirks. Harry coughs and turns around before stripping himself, and Louis wants to choke because he has the nicest fucking back muscles Louis has ever scene. He can only imagine his front.

They both finish getting dressed, and climb into bed. Louis also definitely does not stare at Harry's chest and tattoos when he walks over. Louis cuddles into the blankets, but feels Harry's body glide closer to his. "Louis, can I..."

"Like cuddling then, yeah? Good thing, because I like being the little spoon. Go ahead." Louis whispers, and the moment Harry pulls him flush against his body, and their legs tangle, and Harry's arm wraps around Louis front, Louis can feel something for once.

"If I get attached, please don't get scared." Harry whispers, but he's half asleep.

Louis wants to kiss his pain and sadness away too, because around him, Louis feels something else. "You can't scare me away, Harry." 


	2. i'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I'M SO LATE
> 
> IWDHQUasdfghjkl
> 
> just read it
> 
> i have one chapter left oki ilysm

It's almost two months later when Harry realizes how strong his feeling are for Louis.

After the night when Louis slept over, it became a thing after that. 

Harry would spend the night at Louis', or Louis would spend the night at Harry's, and it continued on when school started up again, too.

They'd walk to school together (yes, holding hands), and they sort of got used to people calling them faggots or whatever, and on another day when they were alone, it would bug them, but it didn't even matter anymore.

Harry didn't know if they were a thing or not, but he sure as hell wanted them to be.

And like, Harry has  _never_ felt this way about anyone before. It's almost scary; the way his heart picks up about ten paces, or maybe even stops, when Louis smiles at him, or when he feels sick to his stomach in a really good way when Louis touches him. It's scary, yet electrifying.

Harry wants nothing more than to have a forever with him.

He remembers the first time he found out his feelings for Louis were way too strong to control. 

It was in the beginning of May, and it was raining really hard outside, and Louis' heater broke, so the two decided to build a fort (it's cute, alright?), and cuddle under there with about three thousand blankets on top of them. Louis was tucked under Harry's arm, and Harry just felt to safe with him. Louis tells him how he thinks it's odd how bad things usually happen on rainy days, and so Harry tells him that it doesn't happen all the time. And then Louis says that he's right, and tells him about how he's scared something bad will happen, because the last time something bad happened on a rainy day he got kicked out of the house.

"Lou..you don't have to..." Harry gives Louis a comforting rub, and Louis shakes his head and tells him about how he feels like he's drowning but everyone else is breathing, and then he tells him why, and it hurts Harry how he doesn't even cry because Louis tells him that he's too numb.

So it was the first time Louis opened up to Harry and after Harry (nervously) pressed a kiss to Louis temple and told him that he'd make sure Louis didn't feel numb anymore because he made Harry feel nervous but in the best way possible.

And now it comes to the day where they're almost on top of each other (again) in Louis' room, and he's helping Harry study for a test.

Louis' small legs are draped over Harry's long ones and Harry's arm manages to wrap around Louis' waist and keep a steady hand on his notebook. Louis' hand is rested on top of his, while the other arm is over Harry's shoulder, and it feels so fucking nice.

"So, I need your help with something, too." Louis tells him, and Harry closes his books and smiles up at Louis, who's wearing his glasses and it's way too adorable.

"Okay." Harry shrugs, and scoots impossibly closer to Louis.

"There's this guy."

Oh.

_Oh._

That didn't just stab Harry in the heart. "Okay?"

"And I like him. A lot."

Oh.

Harry nods, trying to ignore the pain in his chest and weakness in his whole body.

"And I don't know what to do."

Harry blinks at him, looks away, and nods again, and he wanted to say 'I thought this was something', but he can't.

"Can you help?" Louis asks gently, and Harry wants to sob.

Harry gulps. "Sure."

Louis winces, and Harry doesn't realize how harsh his tone was. "Um. Should I tell him, or?"

"I guess. Who is it?" He couldn't help but ask.

Louis goes pale. "Um. His name?"

"Yeah."

Louis thinks of the first name that comes to mind, besides Harry. "Alex."

"Alex?"

Louis didn't know his last name. Because who the hell is Alex? "Yeah, you know. Fit. Brunette. Tall." Louis stops before he goes into green eyes and dimples and curls. 

"Oh. Him."

"You know him?"

"No, I don't think I do."

Louis frowns, and he doesn't know why he's lying. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I should-I need to go. But. Go for it. Be happy. You deserve it." Harry's trying not to shake by now, but his books are almost falling by the time he picks them up.

"Harry."

Harry looks up and tries to smile. "Yeah?"

Louis sighs and stands up as well, on his tip toes, to press a kiss to Harry's forehead. "Stop bottling things inside."

"Okay." And then Harry's out, and he's running down the steps way too fast, and he trips on the last one, and his vision is blurry, and he needs to get out.

He stands up quickly and wipes at his eyes, and stops when a voice calls his name. "Harry?"

He looks over with a red face and bleary eyes, to Liam and Zayn who look totally snogged out, and Liam frowns. "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry shakes his head and leaves the house with a slam of the door, and walks fast up the side walk, and Liam's running after him.

Once he catches up, he places a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry, what's wrong?" He repeats.

"I thought he fucking liked me, Liam. I really did. But he likes some Alex guy and-"

"Harry, seriously?" Liam sighs.

"What?"

"You're clueless. He's only telling you that because he's afraid to tell you that he likes _you_." _  
_

Harry snorts. "Yeah, right.

"Harry! He's told me! He thinks you're fit." Liam admits, and Harry huffs.

"Doesn't mean he likes me."

Liam whines. "But he does."

Harry runs a hand through his hand and lets out a bitter chuckle before backing away. "Nobody could have feelings for me, Liam."

And Liam's about to ask what he meant by that, but Harry's ignoring him and walking way too fast, and he doesn't even think he's doing it, it's just his feet carrying him.

He gets into his house and ignores Gemma as well and crashes down on his bed, and he just sort of thinks. Thinks about how he could possibly thing Louis fucking Tomlinson could have feelings for Harry fucking Styles, and he's come to the conclusion that he can't.

He's Harry Styles, weird, quiet, and fucked up Harry Styles with friends who only feel bad for him. And then there's Louis Tomlinson, beautiful, witty, and interesting Louis Tomlinson with amazing friends. And poor Louis must be so freaked out, because he probably knows that Harry is falling hard for him, and who in their right mind would want Harry? 

Louis deserves better than him, he thinks.

Everyone deserves better than Harry, he thinks.

And he thinks and thinks and thinks a little bit more until he's practically throwing a fit in his room, pulling at his hair and punching the wall until it caves in, and Gemma comes running up will his anxiety pills and then Harry's crying against her shoulder and repeating things such as 'I'm so fucked up, Gems' or 'I'm such a misfit. I don't belong anywhere'.

He also thinks he's going insane.

* * *

Louis doesn't see Harry at school for a week. He sent him about five messages per day, and maybe even a phone call, but it would never pick up and he feels as if he did something wrong. Well.

Harry also doesn't answer Liam, or Zayn, or even Niall. Niall went by his house, but Gemma had told him that 'Harry was sick and he's been sleeping for days and hasn't picked up his phone, sorry' and then she shut the door. It wasn't entirely a lie. Harry was sick (in his mind, he said), but he did come down with a little cold, he has been sleeping, but he decided to hide away his phone because he couldn't bare to see any messages from anyone.

Louis heard rumors such as:

He killed himself

He's in the 'loony bin'

Or something along those lines, and people thought it was fucking funny. And Louis had enough, so the next kid who laughed about that, he punched. He didn't know who it was, but it turned into a huge brawl, and the other kid ended up being the one on the ground with a bloody nose and black eye and he was breathless, and Louis had never done that before, so he ran.

He kept running until he couldn't feel his feet anymore, they were carrying him.

And once he reached Harry's, he stopped.

He could do this. He can go in there and make sure Harry is okay and maybe (maybe) pull a move on him, because Louis  _needs_ Harry to smile, even if he isn't the reason. He needs to see those dimples and bright, green eyes and a meaningful smile, because if Harry can make Louis happy, he'll have to do the same.

Without thinking, he knocks on the door and is about to run again, but a pretty brunette opens the door, and it makes Louis' heart sink.

She smiles. "Hi, can I help you?"

"Um."

"I'm Gemma. Not a girlfriend. Ew." 

At that, Louis laughs, and he loosens up. "Harry's told me a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

She nods and lets him in. "You must be Louis."

"How'd you know?" he asks with a raises eyebrow.

"Harry," she chuckles, "he told me about you."

Louis smirks. "Is that so? Good things?"

"And bad."

Louis' heart stops and he frowns. "What?"

"Nothing. He's upstairs in his room. He could be awake or asleep. I have no clue anymore. Just be careful, alright?" Gemma tells him with worry in her voice, and Louis is so damn confused.

He goes upstairs without a word and knocks hesitantly on Harry's door, and it's followed by a low 'come in'.

When he walks in, Harry's body is covered by too many blankets, and only his head it out, and he looks so adorable. His eyes look brighter somehow, maybe because his face is a little paler, and his smile is nowhere to be seen.

Louis shuts his door and walks over to the bed. Harry stares at him and it's fucking nerve racking, okay?

"Hi. How are you?" Louis asks as he pushes Harry's hair out of his face.

Harry leans into his touch, but he still isn't smiling. "I'm okay."

"Why have you been out? I missed you." Louis tells him, and it kills Harry.

"I've been sick. And. I haven't been very happy." Harry admits, and fuck, why did he do that?

Louis frowns and sits down next to him. "Why not, love?"

Oh god, with the pet names.

"Dunno."

"Yes you do."

"I don't feel like I'm good enough." Harry says, and he just wants Louislouislouislouislouislouis and that's all. But he isn't good enough for him either, he thinks.

Louis frowns more and lays down beside Harry. "Babe, what do you mean?"

Harry wonders why he treats him like this.

"Just. I don't know. I'm not smart enough. Or funny enough. Or handsome enough. Or anything. Like I don't fit up to anyone's standards, and that's why I get shit, and maybe if I was good enough I'd be loved, or something. And I can't do anything right. I'm just not good enough for anything, Lou." 

Louis groans and pulls Harry close to him. "Harry. Listen to me. You don't have to be smart enough, it is not your fault. You try so hard, love. And if you aren't handsome then no one is-"

"I'm not handsome right now."

"-you're very handsome when you're sick, Harry. Want me to be honest? You are the fittest boy I've even seen and known. You're anyone's wet dream, love." And that gets a chuckle out of Harry, and Louis knows it's working. "Don't you dare say that you aren't fit or hot or handsome or anything, because you're gorgeous. And whoever's 'standards' you don't fit up to, fuck them. They're stupid. And don't say you aren't loved, because you mean the world to me, and I love you, Harry." Louis tells him, and Harry wishes he loved him more than a friend, like how Harry felt. "You're more than good enough, Harry. You're perfect."

Harry wants to cry. He buries his face in Louis neck and sniffs. "M' not perfect."

"Yes, you are." Louis smiles and presses a kiss to Harry's cheek, and fuck.

Shit.

Harry really likes this boy.

"I don't deserve you." Harry mumbles.

Louis sighs and plays with the small hairs on the back of Harry's neck. "You deserve more than me. You deserve the world, Harry."

And Harry wants to tell Louis how he basically is his world, how he feels about Louis' smile, how he wants to call him his and Louis to tell everyone that Harry belongs to him, but Harry thinks he lives in a world where nothing good happens to him.

"You're wrong."

Louis shakes his head. "You're wrong, Harry. Now, get up. I'll make tea, you take a shower, and then we're going out tonight."

Harry's heart races. "What?" 

"I'm taking you out tonight. If you don't mind." Louis tells him, and he's trying to climb out of bed but Harry keeps a tight grip on him, and Louis laughs.

"No! I don't mind at all," Harry starts, and he's even confusing himself, "I mean, yeah. I'll go out with you."

Louis grins and pecks Harry on the nose. "Good. You seem calmer lately."

"I've gotten used to you." Harry smirks.

"Yeah? So if I did this, you wouldn't be nervous?" Louis asks, placing his hand on Harry's lower back.

"Nope." Harry grins.

Louis inches closer to Harry's face, and Harry goes red, leaving a smirk on Louis. "What about this?"

"No." Harry gulps this time.

Louis hums to himself and gets closer so their lips are ghosting over each others, and he places his hand on Harry's upper thigh. "Nervous now, Harry?"

Harry lets out a shaky breath, and Louis almost shudders when it hits his lips. "Um."

Louis smirks. "Gotcha." And then he places a kiss on Harry's chin and pounces out of bed, and Harry is so fucked, okay.

Harry groans and stands up as well, and smiles to himself when he see's Louis' eyes rake over his body. "You have so much energy."

"You're just a party pooper." Louis puts his weight on one foot and stands there with his arms crossed over his chest.

Harry steps closer and tries to make an angry face. "Is that so?"

"It is. So. Whataya gonna do it about it?"

Harry smirks. "I don't know. Maybe I'll tickle you."

And like, Harry found out that Louis is _really_ ticklish one day. They were on the couch, watching a movie, when Louis started to bite Harry's shoulder. So, Harry flipped him over, hovered above him, and tickled Louis until he kicked him off.

So.

Louis screeches and runs out Harry's bedroom door, and Harry runs after him with a grin. 

Their footsteps are loud on Harry's wooden flooring, but Louis' dodging Harry and Harry keeps tripping, and he is so clumsy but Louis thinks it's absolutely adorable.

Louis locks himself in a closet and he tries not to laugh, really, but it's in the moment so he giggles to himself, and he waits until he can't hear Harry anymore. And when he does, he opens the door slowly, and the idiot he is, tries to make his way down the stairs, but is suddenly pinned to a wall by a smirking boy.

Harry's hands immediately fly to Louis' waist, and Louis' hands fly to Harry's. It's small, smooth hands on big, rough hands on a small waist, and Louis would be lying if he said he actually liked this.

"You scared me, isn't that enough?" Louis pouts, and he catches Harry staring at his jutted lip for a few seconds.

Harry scowls. "I suppose so."

"Your hands are big."

"Your waist is just small."

"Harry."

"Okay, yes, my hands are big. But your waist is fucking tiny."

God, it's so hot when Harry curses.

Louis shakes his head. He's always been self-conscious about his body, especially his stomach.

"Don't think so?" Harry frowns.

"Nope."

Harry hums. "Hm. Guess I'll prove it to you when."

And before Louis could protest, Harry's scooping him up smoothly and Louis' is practically folded in his arms, and he smirks down at him.

"Told you. Tiny."

Louis pouts. "M' not tiny."

"Whatever you say..." Harry trails off, and he's carrying Louis down the steps like he's a vase, and he holds him tightly. Louis' arms wind together around Harry's neck, and Harry almost trips on one of the steps down, and his immediate reaction is to hold Louis tighter, and Louis throws his head back and laughs loudly. Harry groans, "S' not funny."

Louis giggles and presses his nose into Harry's shoulder. Harry carries him into the kitchen and sets him on the counter. Louis smiles at him, and Harry wants to melt. "Love how your immediate reaction was to hold me tighter."

Harry blushes and hands him two tea bags. "Can't break a China doll."

Louis snorts and flicks Harry's nose, earning a drawled out 'Heeeeey' from Harry. "Go get a shower, stinky."

Harry scowls at him one last time before leaving, and he leaves Louis to make the tea.

And Louis does.

And then he thinks.

Thinks about Harry and his small things. Like how in every touch Louis gives him, Harry leans into it. Or how Harry gravitates towards Louis more when they're a foot away. Or how he never knows where to put his eyes when he looks at Louis, they're everywhere. Or how when Harry looks at Louis' lips, he basically goes into a trance. And Louis fucking yearns to tell Harry how he wants to fall asleep beside him Saturday nights and wake up Sunday mornings with tired eyes and tired grins and tired voices, but as more than friends. He wants to tell Harry how he puts him in place and keeps him happy and safe, and just. He wants to tell Harry how hard he fell for him.

"You know that's the first time he's come out of his room all week."

Louis jumps in surprise and spins around to see Gemma smiling at him. "What?"

"Well, besides to use the bathroom. But I couldn't get him out of bed. My boyfriend couldn't. No one. Only you."

Louis blushes this time. "Really?"

"Really. I shouldn't tell you this, but he really likes you, Louis. And I know you feel the same. And I know you're little game."

"What game?"

"The game where you tell Harry you like someone else, but it's actually him who you like." Gemma smirks.

"Um."

"Do what you want, Louis, but don't you dare break my baby brothers heart." she tells him sternly. And then she's out the door.

Well then.

A whistle from behind him wakes Louis up, and he gets two cups out to pour the tea into. He pours Harry's, and he knows just what he likes. And so he waits for him at the kitchen table, and Louis almost spits out his tea, because Harry's fucking perfect. He trots over in jean shorts that reach his knees, and a quarter sleeve sweatshirt, and he's wearing this ridiculous American flag bandana in his wet hair, and it's weird because they're in London.

Okay.

Louis hums and scoots his seat closer to Harry's when he sits. "You smell like cologne."

Harry sips his tea and his eyes widen a little. "Too much?"

"Not at all. S' nice."

Harry smiles to himself, because he really wants to impress Louis, and it's already pretty much working.

"I beat up a guy for you today."

At this, Harry actually spits out his tea and he stares at Louis. "Excuse me?"

Louis sighs and rests his head on the table and stares back at Harry. "There were a bunch of rumors going around about you and one was that you killed yourself and this one kid starting laughing about it so. I kinda hurt him. I think."

Harry blinks at him. "You didn't have to-"

"You think I'm gonna let people talk about you like that?" Louis asks, "Well, I'm not. Especially with that type of situation."

"He could've hurt you, Louis."

"But he didn't." Louis tells him, and that's the truth. The boy pushed him and then Louis lost it. So.

Harry huffs and shakes his head, but smiles. "You're too good to me."

"It's not even my best, but you deserve it all." 

Christ. The things Louis does to Harry's heart.

* * *

Louis decides to take Harry out for dinner to this cute place where they order a pizza, because pizza's fucking good.

"Thank you for taking me out tonight. I'm having fun." Harry tells him after taking a bite of his pizza.

Louis almost melts.

"I like taking you out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I like spending time with you. Even if we're just in bed." Louis smiles, and okay his heart is racing.

Harry blushes and takes another bite and Louis really wants to kiss him. "How's that Alex guy?"

Louis laughs, and he just goes for it. "There is no Alex guy, Harry."

"What?"

"You're the person I like, silly." Louis says in relief, and.

And Harry's just staring at him, what the hell. "Harry. You in there?"

" _You_ like  _me_?" Harry snorts, and Louis reaches out to grab his hand.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"No!" Harry says quickly, "I just. I didn't think this type of stuff happened to people like me."

Louis frowns and rubs his thumb over the back of Harry's hand. "What do you mean?"

"People like you shouldn't like people like me. You're funny, I'm boring. You glow, I'm dull. You're perfect, and I'm Harry Styles." 

"Harry.." Louis starts because wow, "you are very funny. Even when you aren't trying. You're just so cute it's funny. Like when you fall. It's funny. I love it. You are not dull, you're fucking radiant. And to me, Harry Styles is more than perfect. I don't know what the word for that is, but if anyone is it, you are. Do you get how much I admire you."

Harry tries not to smile, but fails. "Sure we're talking about the right Harry Styles here?"

"I'm positive."

"Okay."

Louis sighs and looks down. "Okay."

He's suddenly about two inches away from big dimples and green eyes, and there are fingers on his chin. He places his hand on Harry's wrist and feels his pulse beat erratically underneath his fingers. "I admire you more than I admire being in your presence and more than the sun admires the Earth and more than other metaphorical cliches phrases, but. I really like you, Louis Tomlinson."

Harry has no clue where he found this confidence, but he doesn't question it further, but now what.

There are suddenly a thin pair of lips pressed again Harry's, and Harry kisses just how he speaks-slow and steady and gentle with it. His hands spans the side of Louis' face, and his thumb rubs the spot behind Louis' ear, and it's magical almost. Harry pulls away, and Louis lets out a soft, satisfied noise, and grab's Harry's hand.

"Do you wanna go back to mine and snuggle and watch some show? I'd like to wrap myself around you." Louis smiles.

Harry pulls Louis up with him. "I'd love to."

* * *

They get back to Louis' and Louis decides to put on an episode of Skin's, and Harry says that he's never seen Skin's and Louis kinda flips.

"You've lived in London for how long?" Louis scoffs.

"Um. Since like. 2005." Harry tells him, Louis lets out a whine and pushes Harry on the couch.

"You're watching it."

Harry giggles, fucking giggles, at Louis. "I can tell you like this show."

Louis flops down beside him and Harry immediately throws an arm around him, and Harry  _really_ wants to kiss him for a while.

And Harry isn't really paying attention to the show because he can't stop staring at the boy beside him, because he's just like, really beautiful and it almost hurts Harry.

"Harry." Louis says, and Harry's eyes divert to Louis' lips.

Harry hums and Louis grins. "Watch the show, love."

"Rather look at you."

Louis grins even more if possible and turns his head towards Harry. "And why is that?"

Harry smiles and moves closer. "You're pretty."

Louis laughs and stuffs his face into Harry's chest and Harry's still following his movements. "I still have no clue how you can go from shy and nervous to talkative and blunt."

Harry cards his fingers through Louis' feathery hair. "I still get nervous around you. But I can only be my actual self around you, too. It works both ways."

Louis looks up at him and his smile softens, and he presses a kiss to Harry's collarbone.

"I want to kiss you."

"Please do."

And then they're kissing again. Louis' playing with the necklace on Harry's chest, and their skin is on fire, and they both want  _moremoremore_.

"Lou-just." Harry tries to say against Louis' lips because he doesn't want to stop, but he wants to be closer to him. He keeps kissing Louis while moving Louis up onto his lap. Louis' arms wrap around Harry's neck and he's basically clinging to him, and Harry's arms are wrapped protectively around Louis' waist, like he's going to leave him.

When their breath is labored, Louis presses small kisses against Harry neck and chest. He sucks on the skin on Harry's collarbone and Harry lets out a moan, and he feels Louis' hard-on press against his, and okay. He fucking wants him.

Louis' tongue presses against every spot in Harry's mouth, and he grinds down onto Harry, and Harry moans loudly.

"Christ, Harry. Fucking vocal." Louis groans.

Harry holds onto Louis' hand and pants into his mouth. "I need more."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, fuck."

"Mmm, tell me what you want." Louis says, and he smirks against Harry.

Harry lets out a cry. "Louis, please. Don't fucking tease me."

Louis unzips Harry's shorts and his hand ghosts over Harry's crotch. "Me? Tease you? I'd never."

"Louis." Harry growls.

Louis moves up and kisses Harry hard. "Pretty sexy when you get angry."

Harry opens his mouth to speak but only lets out a drawn out moan when Louis slips his hands through his short and palms him. "Come on, Lou."

Louis kisses him again before lifting up a little bit to slip off Harry's shorts and boxers, and he lets out a throaty moan. "Every single part of you is big, Harry. Don't get it." He tells Harry, and then he takes Harry's length into his hand and pumps slowly.

"Louis, I swear. If you don't do anything soon." Harry's almost crying because Louis' so hot when he's sweaty and he's so painfully hard.

Louis kisses down Harry's clothed chest and stomach and when he gets down to his thighs, he sucks bruises into the inner part, and Harry's  holding tightly onto his hair. "Louis, please."

"As you wish." Louis winks, and then he's taking Harry' cock into his mouth.

Harry lets out a relieved sigh and gently pushes Louis' hair out of his face as he moves down on his cock more. The tip touches the back of Louis' throat and it's taking so much for Harry not to fuck up into Louis' mouth, but this is their first time, so. Louis moves back up to the tip and swirls his tongue around it, gathering precome, and Harry's biting his lip so hard, he thinks he might draw blood. Louis moves back down on him and his hand is soft around the part of Harry that he can't take into his mouth.

"Louis," Harry warns, "fuck. I'm gonna cum."

Louis moans against Harry, and that's all it takes for Harry to shoot down Louis' throat. Louis takes his mouth off Harry's now soft cock and winks at Harry as he swallows it all, and fuck. He's too hot.

Louis moves back up to Harry and kisses him softly. "Better?"

Harry hums against Louis' mouth and pecks him one, two, three times. "Much. Now let me return the favor."

"You don't have-"

But Harry does and he cuts Louis off by presses him flat against the couch and he moves down on Louis and sucks him until Louis cums as well, and his fucking face. Christ.

Louis leans up and he can't stop kissing Harry, so he does again, and it's funny because on the screen are Cook and Effy having sex in the teachers lounge.

What a coincidence.

Louis bits on Harry's bottom lip and drags it out and lets go. "Your mouth can do wondrous things, Styles."

Harry laughs and pulls Louis down to lay with him. "I can sing, too."

"You should sing for me."

"I will another time. My throats sore." Harry winks at Louis and kisses his nose, because he thinks it's cute when Louis' face scrunches up.

* * *

Harry finally goes back to school that Monday with Louis, and he ignores the whispers and the jokes and Louis holds his hand tighter.

Harry has no clue what they are.

He doesn't know if they are a thing or if they aren't or if they're dating or they aren't or this is just blow-jobs and lazy hand-jobs and too many make outs with huge feelings, and he's afraid to ask.

But he fucking loves Louis.

Harry loves everything about Louis. The way Louis' hands fit perfectly with his own. Or the way Louis' kisses change each time. Or the way he giggles when he finds something stupidly funny. Or the way when he gets excited he moves around a lot. 

The list could go on.

Harry does not know what they are, but he can tell you what he wants them to be.

He wants to call Louis his and he wants Louis to tell everyone that he belongs to him and he wants Monday to Sunday mornings with scratches on his back and he wants it all.

They sit closer than needed during homeroom and walk each other to their classes and definitely do not make out against the lockers during one of their classes.

"You're perfect." Harry whispers against Louis' lips. They're both breathless and pressed impossibly close to each other.

Louis shakes his head and hugs Harry as tight as he can, like he'll disappear any second.

"Louis," Harry cries, "why don't you believe me?"

"Cause' I'm not perfect."

"But you are."

"No, I've got this stupid stomach that pouches out and my thighs are too thick and I've been over this, babe."

Harry frowns and kisses Louis before he starts to sing to him in his ear. He sings Happy by nevershoutnever so quietly, and it's almost scary how silent it is in the hallway.

Louis giggles into Harry's neck and tells him to stop before he cries. So of course Harry stops and presses a gentle kiss to the spot behind Louis' ear and he is dying to tell him exactly how he feels.

"You're an amazing singer, Harry. Could go somewhere with that."

Harry traces his finger around Louis' lips. "I'd go nowhere without you."

"Harry..."

"I told you I'd sing to you. Want you to feel perfect."

Louis gets on his tip toes and kisses Harry quickly. "Good thing you make me feel like I am."

Harry grins and kisses Louis again, and with Louis on his tip toes, he still has to lean down a tiny bit. "You're so short. It's so adorable."

Louis smacks Harry's arm playfully. "You're just overly tall."

Harry pouts and Louis coos before trying to kiss Harry again. Harry moves his head but ends up hitting it on the lockers, and Louis lets out loud barks of laughter. Harry frowns even more and Louis' still laughing. "Babe, you alright?"

Harry growls before picking Louis and pressing him against the wall. Louis' legs wrap around Harry's waist and Harry leans up to kiss Louis, but moves back when Louis leans in. Louis whines and leans in more. "Harrrrrry."

"Louiiiiiiis."

"Please kiss me, baby. I'm sorry for calling you tall. I love it."

Harry lets out a soft groan and kisses Louis as gently as he can. Their mouths move in sync and they feel like they only people who are alive and don't even notice the people flooding out of their classes, and they know they're getting looks but they have each other.

Harry's lips are red and it's just so lovely, because it's so nice to just kiss sometimes. And that's all there is to it.

"Got something for you later." Harry whispers to Louis.

Louis hums and kisses Harry one last time before jumping off him. "Is that so?"

"It is. I'll stop by and drop it off, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll see you soon, love."

Harry definitely does not stare at Louis' ass when he walks away.

* * *

It's a new feeling to genuinely love someone, even when you haven't dated them yet.

Harry doesn't feel so lost when he's with Louis. It's cliche, but Harry sort of feels at home with Louis.

Like, there isn't a moment when he does not want to be with Louis. He makes Harry's throat loosen up when they're in public and Louis squeezes his hand to let him know it's okay. Louis makes Harry feel like it doesn't matter what people say to them because they're LouisandHarry and they have each other and they don't need anyone else.

He  _really_ wants them to be more than a fling or friends or whatever, and he wants them to go far.

He's looking around for him because he wants to walk home with him like they usually do but-

Oh.

Harry feels his heart sink.

Because there's Louis right across from him and a really big guy is gripping Louis' arms and he's kissing him, like really hard on the mouth.

And Louis isn't stopping him.

Harry's heart sinks and he turns away and oh god, his throat is closing up and he can't breathe and fuck, he's shaking and his steps are getting heavier but he keeps walking and he doesn't even realize he's crying.

He's pathetic.

He hears a voice calling his name but it's almost like he can't hear it, and his paces are getting faster and faster and faster until he's running and he hears more steps behind him and he wants to stop but he can't.

But he feels a small hand grab his big one and he automatically knows who it is.

"Harry. Stop." Louis says in a small voice.

Harry spins around and Louis winces when he does. "You fucking lied to me."

"Harry no-"

"Louis yes. What the fuck was that? I thought you fucking liked me." And dammit, Harry was whimpering and he was so upset but he couldn't let go of Louis' hand.

"Harry,  I swear I did not lie to you. You have to let me explain-"

"There's nothing to explain Louis. Do you kiss everyone you like?"

Louis scowled. "Harry, I don't fucking like him."

"Bullshit, Louis." Harry said, and he started to walk away but he was still holding onto Louis and he had no clue why. "Let go."

Louis tightened his grip. "No. Don't leave." 

"Louis. Fucking let go." Harry started to pry Louis' fingers off his hand, because he didn't want to let go.

"Harry stop it. Stay. You have to let me explain." Louis repeated.

Harry went slack but his jaw tightened. "Louis."  
  
"Harry. Listen-"

"No."

"-I fucking love you dammit."

Harry really couldn't breathe.

"Stop fucking lying to me, Louis." And with that, he finally let go of Louis' hand.

Louis reached back for it, but Harry moved away again and this really can't be happening.

"I'm not lying, Harry."

"Here," Harry said, and pressed a piece of paper against Louis' chest, "have a good time with him."

And then he was gone.

Louis couldn't move.

Harry was gone.

He was fucking leaving and Louis was letting him.

Louis opened up the piece of paper and fuck.

Harry really is a sap.

_Dear Louis,_

_I decided that since I can't explain my feelings to you in person, I'd write them down. Please don't think I'm some obsessive freak. I just can't help it. No, I'm just kidding. Anyway. I've liked you since I first saw you. I mean not actually had feelings or anything, but I knew I wanted to get to know you. And that's why I was so nervous when we were in the library. I mean, you're Louis Tomlinson. And it's a shame, really, how nobody takes into consideration who you are. You're beautiful, honestly. I don't know how you don't see it. I could literally just stare into your eyes forever, and that's really cheesy. But. It's true. And I have no clue how you keep your hair so soft. And I know you're insecure about your body, but I love it so so much. Remember you told me I don't have to fit up to anyone's standards? Well, the same goes for you babe. I adore your stomach. I really do. If I'm honest (I'm blushing by the way), I think it's pretty sexy. And your thighs. Well. Those are a huge turn on for me. Like when you wrap your legs around my waist, your thighs get tight and it's just so hot. And don't even get me started on your personality. You're everything I've looked for, Louis. I feel at home with you. I don't feel like I need to be so scared of life when we're together, and that's something I've never felt before. You've brought me so many new feelings, all good ones, too. And just. I love you, okay? I fucking love you and all your weird jokes and your morning breath, and that sounds weirds but I fucking love all of you and that's it. Just you. I just want you and nobody else. I'm sorry I couldn't say this to your face, but I would've choked by the word freak. You're not like any guy I've ever talked to or dated, or whatever we are. You aren't like anyone I know. And I'm glad I found that. I'm glad I found you. So stick around, please? I need you._

_Love,_

_Harry._

And now Louis' crying. Great.

He needs Harry. 

And so for what, the third time? 

So for the third time this week, he's running.

He just keeps going, just like Forest. 

And then he seems him, and he's calling out his name and he just keeps running faster and faster until Harry's holding him close and he's stuffing his face into Louis' hair and he keeps saying sorry.

"I should be sorry." Louis mumbled to him.

"I accused you of something you didn't do."

Louis looked up at him. "How'd you know?"

Harry shrugged. "Just kinda knew. You aren't like that. I'm sorry-"

Louis cuts him off with a short kiss. "Don't be. Just. I'll stick around if you do."

"You read it?"

"Of course."

Harry went red. "That's embarrassing."

Louis smiled. "It was cute."

Louis reaches him and kisses Harry with so much passion, it's almost unbelievable. He tries not to smile into it, but he does anyway because Harry is. He'll never get sick of kissing him, really.

They pull away and Louis' eyes are practically shining. "I love you, Harry. So much."

Harry closes his eyes. "No one in their right mind could love me."

"That's the thing, love," Louis starts, "I'm nowhere near in my right mind, and I do love you. I want us to be more. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours, if that's okay with you. You can have all of me if I can have all of you."

Harry grins and kisses him hard and pulls away. "I love you more than you know. So let's be in each other's wrong minds."

Louis thinks that life could in fact be a fairytale, but this is his, and no one else's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owie
> 
> ok
> 
> comment, leave kudos, and i'll update soon ily


	3. flightless bird, american mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was fifteen minutes of Harry bouncing his leg up and down and Louis squeezing his hand tighter until he felt numb. And Harry kept telling Louis how he started liking the word forever when he met him, and Louis wanted to kiss him until he was breathless.
> 
> Harry smiles against Louis' lips and kisses them gingerly. "Never?"
> 
> "Never."
> 
> "That's a long time, don't you think?"
> 
> "Yes, it is," Louis says, "but forever is never enough when it comes to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last part guys
> 
> thank you for all the feedback:)
> 
> i have a long one shot that will be posted soon, it would've been sooner but it got deleted, so that might take about a week or two, depending on how busy i get with school and sports
> 
> and i'm also co-writing a fic with someone else, but that's a surprise
> 
> also, this is probably going to be shorter than the other two, only because it's the ending, and there's not a lot to it. so. sorrrrryy
> 
> anywaaaaay enjoy :)

It's the same thing every morning with them.

On week days, they wake up just in time for uni, shower (together or not, Louis claims it's to 'save water and time'), get breakfast together, and then get to their classes.

Weekends, they stay in until whenever, one never waking up without the other, and play it by ear what they do for the rest of the day. It's usually Harry whose arms are wrapped snug around Louis' curvy waist, and chest's pressed flush, and Louis would be snuggled up to Harry, only because he's smaller. 

It's been exactly four months since they became HarryandLouis, and when Zayn moved in with Liam in June, Louis invited Harry in, and he didn't care that it was only a month. And of course, Harry agreed, and it's been fantastic since then.

And no, they haven't had sex yet. One part because Louis didn't quite know how to ask Harry, and the other part because he was nervous himself. It'd been blow jobs and hand jobs, and too much making out according to Niall, but. It's okay, really. Because it was Harry.

But today, Harry woke up, late September, and there was no feathery hair tickling his chest or chin, or small arms wrapped around him, or legs tangled with his.

Louis wasn't there.

Harry sat up with panic and looked around the whole room (literally) and there was no Louis. He ran into every room, and there was no Louis. He tried calling him, and there was no Louis to pick up, and what if someone took him? Or what if he went to go get the mail and someone killed him?

Harry couldn't breathe.

He felt his throat closing up and his eyes were watering and oh god, this couldn't be happening.

"Lou?" He called out, "I swear babe if you're playing a game please stop."

No answer.

"Louis, this isn't fucking funny." 

Still, no answer.

By now he was full on sobbing, and he really couldn't feel his hands or his legs and-

 _Hiya babe:_ )

_Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, I have something for you. Ok. So, it's like a hunt. It's childish, I know, but you'll find me. I promise this isn't a joke._

_So what I'm doing is I left notes in a couple places, and you just need to follow them to find me. Sounds fun, yeah?_

_I'm sorry if I scared you, I really am, love. But you'll love this, I swear._

_The first spot is where we had our first date._

_I love you, kitten._

_-Louis_

There had been a note on their fridge, and Harry was in between wanting to punch him (gently), and kiss him too hard for words.

He opted for the latter.

His hands were still trembling too much, but his breathing had calmed and he walked over into their living room and searched high and low until he found another note on the TV.

_Next spot is where we first told each other we loved each other._

_Now run Forrest, run ;)_

And Harry ran, not even realizing he had no shoes on, and was wearing stupid plaid, green pajama pants and a sweater. His hair was standing in twenty different directions, and he had no clue how he was doing this because he was so, so sleepy.

Once he reached the spot where they confessed their feelings, which was right on the corner between Harry's old house and the new. He found another sticky note right on the pole.

_You're doing good, babe._

_I'm gonna make it a little harder, okay?_

_I'll give you hints._

_We ate the most delicious food ever here._

Okay. So. Harry was panicking again. But. He was gonna find him. Eventually.

He knew immediately what Louis was talking about, and he ran until he found another note on the door of the pizza place where Louis first told Harry he liked him.

_I let you have it easy, you know that?_

_Last one._

_Next is where you started to become a book to me._

_And don't worry, it's open._

And what the fuck did that mean?

Harry groaned and almost ripped his hair out, because he had no clue what this one could even mean.

He hadn't opened up to Louis like a book until their first date.

Unless he means something else.

Harry would check the school library anyway.

His breathing was heavy as he ran faster and faster and faster to the school, and when he pulled the front doors open, and he saw lights leading down to the library, not only was he proud of himself for finding him, but he was proud because in that spot, was where their summary started.

Louis had set small lights once every few steps, and Harry marveled at each of them, no matter how cheap looking they were. His hands were shaking by his side, and once he reached the library, there Louis was.

There Louis was, dressed up so, so nicely, and there was a candle lit and Happy by nevershoutnever was playing and he was smiling at Harry like he was the most expensive thing he's ever seen, and it was fucking magical. He was truly a Disney prince.

And then there was Harry. Lazy dressed, messy hair, Harry. And he was smiling, yes, but he couldn't help but cry.

"Happy Anniversary, love." Louis said fondly, and then Harry was running up to him, and holding him like he would fall to dust if he let go.

Harry cried into Harry's shoulder, and he was so happy with this boy. "I can't believe you put me through that."

Louis kissed Harry's neck and cooed in his ear. "I'm sorry, baby. But I am so incredibly proud of you."

"I thought you left or got hurt or something."

Louis leaned back and frowned at his boyfriend. "Babe, I wouldn't leave like that. Especially on our four month. I'd never leave you anyway. I know today isn't a big deal-"

"Yes it is."

"but I want you to feel special. So. Tada."

Louis stepped aside, and really, it wasn't much. Like, at all. It was one candle lit in the middle of the table they sat at together, and Louis had music playing on his iPhone.

It definitely wasn't much.

"You're such a sap." Harry said, heart pounding.

Louis squinted at him, and Harry walked up to him in long strides, and placed his large hands on his boyfriends curvy hips. "But it's beautiful. Really."

Louis hummed and pressed a kiss to Harry's lips quickly. "Thought it'd be cute."

"It is. I love you." Harry confessed.

Louis smiled contently. "I love you more."

"No way." the younger boy shook his head.

The older pressed a longer kiss to Harry's mouth again. "Way."

Their kiss turned more passionated and more heated, with tongues touching and opened mouths. Louis pulled away to trail kisses down Harry's neck, and he pushed the collar of the sweater to the side to press a kiss to his collarbone. Harry's breath was warm and quick on Louis' cheek, and he tilted his head back up to kiss him with desperation.

Louis pulled away and placed a kiss to Harry's nose. "I could make love to you right here and it'd still mean the world to me."

"Yeah?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yeah," Louis laughed, "could do it on the streets and it'd still mean everything."

Harry hummed and pressed a kiss behind Louis' ear, and he built up all the confidence to say:

"Then make love to me."

"What?" Louis whispered.

"Right now. Make love to me, Louis."

Louis pulled back with widened eyes and blinked rapidly. "Haz..I. Um. Are you sure?"

Harry nodded without hesitance. "Never have been so sure in my life."

And with that, Louis was spinning Harry around, so he was pressed against the table, and he immediately attached their lips. Their mouths moved together as usual, and Harry let out a soft groan when Louis' hips rolled into his, only for him to roll back.

Moments later, Harry was lying across the table with Louis on top of him, not even caring they were about to have sex in their school's library.

Louis was just about to remove Harry's shirt, when they heard a deep voice call.

They were fucked.

Harry looked up at Louis with blown out eyes, and Louis was so turned on, but they needed to get out.

"Um. Okay. Fuck. Go open the window, love, okay? Then climb out, and you gotta help me out real quick, okay?" Louis instructed, pushing his boyfriend towards the window. Harry shook as he climbed out, his limbs almost like a baby deer, and Louis almost laughed when he saw him stumble.

"Who's in there?!" the voice called again.

"Fuck." Louis cursed before blowing out the candle and grabbing his phone. He ran over to the window and reached his hands out for Harry. "Babe, help."

And of course, Harry did. His hands grabbed Louis', pulling him along outside with him, only for Louis to fall on top of him. Harry wanted to laugh, he really did, but Louis covered his mouth, and gestured for him to be quiet.

The voice was still calling them, and then Louis had to stifle his face into Harry's neck so he wouldn't laugh.

When the voice faded, their laughter boomed.

"I can't believe that just happened!" Louis said between laughs.

"I know. Imagine if he walked in on us." Harry laughed even louder, and it was such a beautiful moment.

A few seconds later, their laughs died out, and Louis was still leaning above Harry.

He smiled lightly before kissing him (again), and sighing against his lips. "I'm in love with you, Harry Styles."

Harry's heart picked up a few paces before smiling back. "Pretty sure I'm in love with you as well, Louis Tomlinson."

"I wanna take you out to a nice dinner tonight." Louis told him.

Harry sighed. "You don't-"

"Please?"

"Louis-"

" _Pleeaaaaase_." Louis whined.

And of course Harry gave in.

* * *

To say Harry was nervous would be an understatement.

He was really, _really_ nervous.

And Zayn and Liam kept saying "It's only Louis, mate, you'll be fine. It's 'just' Louis."

'Just Louis'.

And that's the thing.

It's _Louis_.

Louis, who Harry's heart fucking races for. Louis, who Harry would kill or die for. It was Louis, or Harry's everything.

Harry learned that he fell in love with Louis because Louis loves Harry unconditionally, even though Harry can't even love himself.

"Harry," Liam started, "calm down. It's just-"

"Don't say it's 'just Louis'." Harry deadpanned.

Liam and Zayn shared a look. "Why not? It is though."

Harry sat up. "Because it's not just Louis. What if I fuck up? What if something bad happens? What if he like, suddenly stops loving me?"

Zayns gasps. "Harry Styles, Louis could not stop loving you even if he tried, and I don't think he would even try. I have never seen someone make Louis smile like you do, Harry. I have never seen Louis this happy. You won't fuck up. I know you. Louis knows you get nervous, so if something does get messed up, he'll understand. He'd never stop loving you, Harry, really."

Harry sighed and stood up to pull Zayn in for a hug. "Thanks, mate. I just don't know what I'd do without him, you know?"

Zayn pulled away from him and smiled towards Liam. "Yeah, I know. Now go on, you can do this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I promise."

Liam pushed Harry out the bedroom door gently. "You look fine, okay? You'll be fine. Everything's going to be perfectly fine."

Harry took a deep breath. "Okay."

And he'd be lying if he said his legs weren't like jello the way down the stairs.

Liam smiled over at Zayn. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Zayn left a kiss on Liam's cheek before leaning on him. "I know."

By the time Harry reached the bottom step, he was two seconds away from running back up, but a small hand was tugging on his wrist, and he spun around to see Louis smiling up at him.

"Hi."

Honestly, Harry was breathless, because his boyfriend was an angel.

He let out a long sigh. "Hi."

Louis laughed and pulled Harry closer to him. "Repeating what I say again?"

Harry's cheeks flushed. "I. Yeah. You're just. Wow."

"You're pretty wow yourself." Louis winked.

"No. You're just. I think you're unreal, Lou, honestly."

Louis pulled Harry down for a quick kiss. "Well, I'm right here, love. Not going anywhere. I'm real."

"I'm really in love with you." Harry confessed.

Louis grinned and took Harry's hand. "I know."

"Good."

"Perfect. Now, should we go?"

Harry nodded and relaxed as Louis' thumb glided back and forth over the back of his hand.

He was okay.

So far.

"Where are we going?" he asked Louis as they climbed into the car.

"Rosso's."

"But Louissssssss-"

"But Harrrrrrrrrry. I don't care if it's expensive. You're my boyfriend and I love you and I wanna treat you like how you deserve." Louis charmed.

"What about me?" Harry asked, "when do I get to take you out?"

"You have before, love." And he had. To an arcade. "But when you wanna take me out, just tell me, and we'll go."

Harry pouted. "You won't reject me?"

Louis gripped Harry's hand tighter. "Of course not, babe. Not in a million years."

"What about a billion?" Harry joked.

"You're such a dork," Louis chuckled, "but not in a billion years either."

The ride was about fifteen minutes long. And it was fifteen minutes of Harry bouncing his leg up and down and Louis squeezing his hand tighter until he felt numb. And Harry kept telling Louis how he started liking the word forever when he met him, and Louis wanted to kiss him until he was breathless. 

Louis pulls in and leans over to kiss Harry. "Not even in a trillion years."

Harry smiles against Louis' lips and kisses them gingerly. "Never?"

"Never."

"That's a long time, don't you think?"

"Yes, it is," Louis says, "but forever is never enough when it comes to you."

Harry pulls back, and Louis' eyes are bright. "Lou..."

"I love you so much, okay?" Louis reassures.

Harry nods. "I know. I love you more."

"Don't start, Styles." Louis warns as he gets out the car.

Thank god Louis can't hear him, because Harry giggles, and he can't stand when he giggles. 

Louis pulls Harry's door open and sticks his hand out for Harry to take. Harry grabs it immediately, and he realizes that he could hold Louis' hand for a lifetime.

And Harry's really embarassed, because his hand is sweaty and Louis is giving up the weirdest look, and he hates him.

"Baby," Louis sighed, "no need to be nervous, okay? It's just-"

"Don't."

Louis cocks an eyebrow. "Don't what, love?"

Harry turns to Louis and inhales. "Don't say it's just you, because it's not. God, Lou. Liam and Zayn kept saying that today when I was getting ready, and I was so nervous. Just like," he let out a long exhale (because how the hell is he gonna do this), "imagine you're in this really bad state of time. And like, you feel like you're losing yourself. That was me, Louis. And then you came in, and I didn't feel so..insane anymore, you know? And I'm just scared I'll fuck up and you'll leave and I don't know what I'd do without you. And I love you more than the man who sits on the moon loves the moon and more than I love being with you and more than the sun loves the Earth and more than any other metaphorical phrases and I just really love you and the rest is rust and stardust."

Louis blinks up at Harry with wet eyes and he isn't speaking, and Harry really has no clue where that came from.

"Harry Styles. No matter if you fuck up or not, I'd never leave your side," Louis smiles, letting out a breathy laugh, "especially not after that."

Harry pulls him in for a tight hug and presses kisses into his hair. "I just don't think I can live without you."

Louis kisses Harry's neck. "I feel like I should say some sappy, long vow type thing to you now too."

Harry laughs and pulls away. "Three simple words will do."

"I love you." Louis says, and he pulls Harry down for a kiss, and they really need to get inside.

Louis pulls away and smiles. "We need to go inside, love. I made reservations for ten minutes ago."

Harry kisses him one last time because he lets the tingling feeling he gets everywhere when Louis kisses him, and they head inside, hand-in-hand, and Harry couldn't hope for anything better than this.

* * *

Louis can't help but fondly smile while Harry rambles on and on about him, and it's truly amazing how hard he fell for this boy.

Louis really loves everything about him.

He loves how he speaks. The tone of his voice if pure seduction almost, and it's honey-like slow and it's warm and inviting. And when he wakes Louis up in the morning with tired, raspy tone, Louis wants to cry maybe.

He loves his lips. The wonderful things Harry can do with his lips amazes Louis. He loves how full they are, and how his kisses always change, from slow and gentle to hot and passionate to silly and playful. And not to mention they were practically made for sucking cock.

Harry grins and his eyes get bright when Louis laughs. Louis really loves Harry's eyes. He'll never get how his eyes can be like a star.

Harry keeps talking and talking and Louis wants to keep listening, but he really needs to pee.

"Babe," he says, "I''m sorry to interrupt. I love hearing you talk. But I gotta use the bathroom, okay?"

Harry chuckles. "Okay, love. Come back when you're done."

Louis' heart flutters. "Of course, Harry."

Louis can never seem to stop thinking about him either.

He thinks about his laugh and what he says on the way to the bathroom.

He thinks about waking up with Harry every morning while he's using the bathroom (he doesn't care if that's weird).

And then he thinks about having a future with Harry while he's cleaning his hands and he definitely doesn't care if he's jumping in too fast.

And when he walks out, he plans on going up to Harry and talking about the things he loves about him, and he tries to think about Harry on the way back, but he sees it and his mind goes out of control, because right there is a dirty slag named Stan pressing Harry against the table, and ok. Louis' done.

Louis walks (stomps) up to the two and throws Stan off of Harry. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Stan smirks. "Aw, look who it is. The little fairy."

"Answer my question, Stan." Louis snarles.

Stan shrugs and steps closer to Harry. "Treating him like the slut he is."

Louis steps between them and pushes Stan. "Don't you say that about him."

He can feel Harry shaking behind him, and Louis thumps his forefinger against Harry's thigh to know he's okay.

"What? It's true. He's just hiding behind a mask, Lou. Bet he's seeing about ten other guys, and I'll make sure I'm one of them." Stan says, and Louis fucking loses it.

He punches Stan in the gut and makes sure it really hurts, earning a gasp from Harry. "Don't you dare say that about him you disgusting twat."

Stan takes a gasp of air and glares up at Louis. "Is he good, Lou? Is he better than me?" 

Louis gulps and pushes Stan back again, and he doesn't even notice how many people are staring. "Shut up, Stan."

Stan lets out a bitter chuckle and towers over Louis. "Answer my question, Louis." he mocks.

"Fuck off."

"I'd rather fuck him."

And then Louis  _really_ loses it.

His mind doesn't even register what's happening, but he's kicking Stan down and yelling in his face and punching him too much, and Harry has to pry Louis off of him. "Lou, please, stop." Harry says, and his voice is shaking and his hands are clamy and shaking too and he's too quiet, and Louis turns around to see him with tears in his eyes and Louis' done.

"Come on," he says quietly, and he hears Stans laugh from behind them as they walk out, and Louis' shaking now with anger.

Harry's breathing and fast and heavy as they get in the car, and Louis wants to kiss it all away but doesn't really know what to think, so he holds his hand gently instead.

"Lou, I swear, I didn't-"

"I know, love. It's okay," Louis says as calmly as he can, "just wait till we get home, and you can tell me what happened, okay? I'm not leaving you."

The ride back is filled with Harry trying not to sob, but he is. And Louis can't help but tear up a bit himself. And this is such a disaster, and it still hasn't registered in his head.

Louis carry's Harry into the house and pushes his hair back as he tries to calm him. "Shh, babe. Everything's okay, yeah? I'm right here. Not going anywhere."

Harry nods and presses his sobs into Louis' neck, and Louis wraps his arms around him and hushes him, and he's almost calm himself, but Harry comes first.

Harry pulls back, and his eyes are red and his face is blochy and he's still shaking, but he still somehow manages to be beautiful.

Louis grits his teeth because he can't get that image of his ex who tortured him almost fucking kissed his boyfriend. "What happened, love?"

Harry takes a deep breath and lays back. "When you left, he like. He came up to me and he started talking about how I caught his eye or something and how I should block you out for him and I told him no and he tried to touch me, Lou. And I didn't know what to do so I stood up and I was gonna come get you and he just pressed me against the table and god, he started whispering all these things to me and I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry. I fucked up."

Louis sighs and he really wants to kill Stan, but he needs Harry to be okay. "Love, you didn't fuck up. You didn't know what to do, I get it."

Harry sniffs. "But I let you down."

"Harry," Louis says, "no you did not. I am very proud of you."

"I didn't stop him."

"But you tried."

"It was so scary when you beat him up..." Harry sighs. "I thought he was gonna hurt you..."

Louis chuckles and kisses Harry on the side of the mouth. "It still wouldn't matter. As long as he didn't hurt you or take you away, it's okay."

Harry shakes his head. "No, it's not. I couldn't. I can't see you get hurt."

"But I didn't, Harry. I'm okay. I'm right here." Louis pressed.

Harry looks at him and bits his lip. "I didn't hurt you?"

"No, love, not at all."

Harry takes a deep breath and ghosts his lips over Louis'. "I was scared you'd leave me."

Louis' hands go numb and he trails them up Harry's forearms. "You're mine, Harry. I'm never letting you go."

And then Louis' lips are on Harry's, and it's most possibly the most passionate kiss they're ever shared. And Louis feels it everywhere, in his veins, bones, brain, and it's all tingling. Next thing they know, Louis is on top of Harry, and their lips are swollen, and Louis wants him.

He pulls back and kisses down Harry's neck. "Harry."

"Please, Louis. I want you." Harry whimpers, and that's enough for Louis to be carrying Harry up the stairs and pressing him into the bed.

Their mouths move in sync, their tongues dancing around each other. Louis finds himself rock hard the second Harry rolls his hips up into his own, and Louis moans into his boyfriend's mouth. Their groins roll together in figure eights for a few minutes before Louis leads kisses down Harry's throat, and he sucks a bruise into his pulse point. "Mine." Louis grumbles against the skin, and Harrys warm against him and his large hands are running up and down Louis' back.

"All yours, Lou." Harry whispers, and the things he does to Louis' heart is unbelieveable.

Louis moves up to kiss Harry on the lips again. "You sure about this?"

Harry nods and pierces his eyes into Louis'. "I'm positive. Please."

And that was that. They lied there, making out for a good ten minutes before Louis started to remove Harry's shit, and wow. He was so beautiful.

Louis kissed down Harry's chest, smiling at the sound of Harry's sigh. He pressed a kiss to Harry's skin right above the heart, and he could almost feel it flutter against his mouth.

"Louis, come on. I can't. You need to get in me." Harry whined, and it made Louis moan against him.

He removed his own shorts and shirt, before slipping off Harry's. And sure, they've seen each other naked before, but this was different.

Harry's erection was against his stomach, and Louis was dying to blow him, but he needed to be inside of him as well.

He lubed up three fingers before tracing his forefinger at Harry's rim, and the pants Harry was letting out were deathly. When Harry's hips rolled down, Louis pressed a finger into him, and the tight heat was delicious.

"God, Lou. I need more." Harry groaned, and they were angelic sounds.

Louis slowly pressed in his middle finger, scissoring the two in Harry. He pressed against a nub of flesh, earning numerous curses and moans out of Harry. "Fuck. Right there, Lou."

Louis sucked kisses into Harry's sharp hipbones, before pressing in a third finger, stretching Harry out completely.

"Lou, fuck. I'm- _fuck-_ I'm ready, Lou. C'mon." Harry groaned, fucking down onto Louis' fingers, and yeah. Louis needed to get in him. Badly.

Louis pulled his fingers out of Harry, leaving him empty. He grabbed a foil packed, only to be stopped by Harry.

"No condom, I want to feel you." Harry huffed.

Louis blushed. "Are you-"

"Yes, Louis. Just fuck me."

Louis moaned loudly before lubing up his whole length, and pouring a bit over Harry's hole. He couldn't help but think about rimming his boyfriend someday.

He breached Harry, earning him to shut his eyes tightly. He stayed there, with only the head of his cock in him, letting Harry get used to it.

"You okay, babe?" Louis asked gently.

"Yeah, um. Go. Please." Harry begged.

Louis pressed in more, searching Harry's face for any regret, but it only should a little bit of pain, and soon turned into pleasure when Louis' hips met Harry's ass.

Louis pushed Harry's hair back and leaned down to kiss him slowly. "You're perfect."

Harry pressed his face into Louis' neck when he started to move in and out of him, the fricion being amazing. Louis shivered at the heat of Harry's breath on his neck, only to pick up his pace even more, and Harry truly looked beautiful with his legs folded. His nails left scratches down Louis' back, and Louis was already so close.

When he pressed against Harry's prostate, Harry let out a scream, and god, he was so vocal. "Right there, Lou. Fuck. Faster, please."

And Louis went faster and faster, admiring Harry's moans and everything else was gone, it was just HarryandLouis.

"Lou, I'm close. Please. Shit." And that was when Louis worked a hand around his cock, pumping in time with his thrusts.

Harry came seconds after on his stomach and chest with a loud cry, his mouth opening in a wide 'o', and his eyes squeezing shut, and Louis would keep that in his mind forever. The look and sound of Harry coming had Louis coming un-done himself moments later, releasing into Harry.

He pulled out before pulling Harry close to him and peppering his neck and shoulder with feathery kisses. "I love you more than anything, Harry."

Harry laughed against him. "Still can't beat what I said."

"I don't think I ever could."

And it was truly amazing, how Louis' life turned around like that. Maybe Harry didn't return his shoes, or maybe he didn't wake Louis up with a kiss, but he made a story out of them. And he knows that they won't have a happy ending like all fairy tales, because they won't get an ending. 

"Good." Harry muttered.

Louis smirked against him. "Perfect."

"Perfect."

"Harry?"

Harry humed against him.

"You really have to stop repeating what I say, love."

And the rest was not rust and stardust, it was theirs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please know that the line "the rest is rust and stardust" is not mine, it's from a poem.
> 
> anyway, i just started school two days ago, and i needed to finish this before i got too busy
> 
> i really hope whoever read this enjoyed it, because i had such a good time writing it
> 
> if you have any prompts just message me on tumblr http://thoselittle-thingss.tumblr.com because i am taking prompts, or you can dm or tweet me @donecxster 
> 
> please leave kudos and comments, your feedback is very important :)
> 
> love you alllllllll

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO I DECIDED AS I WROTE THIS IT WILL BE DIVIDED INTO THREE PARTS AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT SO FAR OKAY
> 
> ITS 5:16 AM OK
> 
> AT LEAST LET ME KNOW IF IT'S GOOD OR NOT OR
> 
> I'LL CRY PLEASE:(


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